Things I Can Do.

I wish there was something
I could do…
To wipe those worries and sadness,
The anxieties and madness
The tears on your eyes…
The hurt inside of coldness.

Your smile is been gone for far too long,
Forget about the past,
Let the future guide you,
Tell me what you like to do,
Show me your favorite song,
Let your Trust,
Really who cares what’s right or wrong.

I would really rather see you Smiling
With a Glad on your face,
Or laughing so much that your stomach cramps up
And your sanity is misplaced.
I would really rather see you savoring
The thing people call “today”,
Or puts on air your stride with confidence,
Knowing you will not lose your way.

I would hate to see you feeling depressed
Or empty or confused.
I would hate to see you losing hope
Or faith in what you choose.
I would hate to see you giving up
Because life does get hard.
And I would also hate to see you get hurt
Or by others marred.

We argue sometimes
Our thoughts and Minds are fighting
A little thing called “Misunderstanding”
All we hear is a “sorry”
But that doesn’t mean like we mean it,
We mean anything like for better
To learn from it, to manifest what it feels.

But it’s just a Storm passing by
Darkening the roads of happiness
Shades Of Gray Clouds falling to us
The midst of Waves Crashing by
But I’m waiting for the sounds of humming birds
The Rainbow beneath the songs of Goodnight.

With these words I promise
I’m sure that you can
And I’m sure that you will
Because this is the only thing I can do
And the thing I will do
I’m Always Here For You.

-CPT-

Christopher P. Taguinod
I forgot the real date.

To My Future Girlfriend.

To my future,

I know its so hard to live until the day you came in my life. 20 years of studying and no one there to comfort my extra time, and thanks for considering the fact that i need your time, for me to inspire more in my studies. Actually everything I do is for you. And I know when the day come, I need to be more thrifty in weekdays so that when the weekend come its time to enjoy a lil bit massage and spa or even a cup of coffee together with you. When you feel down and not in a mood, I’ll pinch your nose until it turn into red, and say “Dont feel upset you are clown now”.

And when the problem is simple, I will argue you and say anything opposite things until your brain burst and surrender “I won this Debate!” but deep inside you have won to my heart. Dont feel upset when I texted you like 10 times in the morning just to greet you on your first glimpse of your eyes everyday and 20 times in the evening just to feel my presence and will take care of you while you are sleeping. When you are doing something, I will text you a non-sensical random questions like “why is the rainy clouds color pink at night?” “you see the moon tonight? it says hi to you!” just to feel comfortable and less stress on what you are doing. And when you woke up in the morning and taking your rest in the evening without any text or call from me, understand that Im busy doing something, but take this to your mind that Im always thinking of you even though Im busy.

And when you like Cats or Dogs, I will buy a Pig! and i know you will laugh when you see it. And when we are together reading in a coffee shop Im sorry if Im interrupting you and you will have been looking for me every 30 mins, but honestly Im looking at you like in every 10 mins and observing your lips, your eyes, and your hair and then i smile; and when you found out that Im observing you, I immediately keeping out of my look like nothings happened. And when your taking your nap, i will get your Cellphone and will take a Selfie and make it a wall paper! so that when you are awake already you will smile at my wacky face. And when you want a Dummy for your studies you can use my palm as a scratch paper or my face for you to remember your readings.

And when you see my hands are full of wounds, do not worry maybe Im just busy caring my roses plants just to send it to you on Valentines Day. And when you are calling in the middle of the class I will take my rest and go outside to answer your call. “hey babe! Im in the middle of the class, but its alright! what can i do?” And when Sunday I’ll drive or I’ll go like in hundred kilometers just to say “Hey! its sunday uhmm… can we go to church?” And when Exams are coming and we are too busy reviewing our subjects! I will go to chapel and pray for our success – lightning a candle for guidance and wisdom.

When you are sick expect me to be there in 1 hour, just to be on your side and hold your hands saying “Tama na ang arte! bangon ka na” haha and then you will smile, I will buy fruits and cook your favorite soup to feel you better. And when you are depress like you want to cry because of challenges, I’ll be there for you and we will make that day the best day of our lives. I will always tell you to Smile because my day is complete when i see you smiling.
And when you are tired, use my shoulder as a pillow and take your rest for awhile. And Im sorry if your right hand is numbing, for not letting your hand at rest I just want to hold your hands like in everyday, I just want to feel you safe when you are with me. Maybe I should practice or enroll to a voice lesson class, so that when your bored or mad I will sing a Corniest song for you, and then you laugh and smile. And maybe I should practice more music instrument and master it so that in case you need a reliever I’ll be there to play a music.

Maybe I should be ready to have a Hepatitis! because we will enjoy the street foods of Manila and drink all the “Palamig” and be ready to get Fat but its okay Babe! You are always beautiful to me, even if you have wrinkles or pimples you are still beautiful, even if you farted in a huge crowd still I love you.

Maybe I should be ready to have a Criminal Case for Slander or Cyber Crime Law for defending you in case someone is harassing you. And be in Jail for owing your violations or errors. In short, prepare to go to prison sometimes.

Im not a good actor but If you beat me I will act like it doesnt hurt. And I will give the sweetest lines in your favorite movies just to feel my company.

I’ll buy more sneakers sometimes, because when we are together and your feet hurts, you can exchange my shoes for you to get better.

And when you feel cold, I’ll hug you instead of giving you my coat.

And when you feel like I’m not interested to you anymore… Dont think that way because even if I’m not in your sight I always thinking of you and still love you.

to my future Girlfriend, I know you Im not that looking guy you wanted, but promise you I’ll be the better and fit guy of your life. The time I have given, the Effort I worked, and the Respect I do are the simple reason why I keep on Loving you.

I know Im afraid to take my role because of too busy in school, promise! I’ll try to be perfect just to say hello and goodnight.

To my future Girlfriend I have got the will to wait for that day. And when that day comes… I surely make your life in a state of Happiness. but for now, I need to pass the Bar Exam and be a Lawyer.

Christopher P. Taguinod
June 5, 2014
3:48pm

Meaning of Being a Guy!

Meaning is the very hard to determine… because it is subjective, meaning will determine through your experiences and every one of us had a unique experiences. Meaning makes the world a little bit interesting from the moment of your first walk, to your first schooling, to your first crush, to your marriage, to your first child, to your resignation, and to your death. That is the totality of life is all about. I strongly disagree with the concept of life is all about “Pleasures”, Hedonistic in nature, that is not the totality of life but a mere necessity of life. This case is not all about “what meaning of life” but the writer wants to discuss that “meaning is subjective”. (walang maisip na intro haha…)

I’m Christopher Taguinod, a simple student who wants to become a Lawyer someday… and I keep on saying that “ang hirap talaga maging isang lalaki!) i quoted. being a guy is pre-determined by the society, when you said guy? its all about “muscles”, “soldiers”, “good-in-sports”, “hazardous-jobs”, and higit sa lahat “lalaki ang kailangan manligaw”. well, in some point tama ang society but in some cases din I disagree. Simple Marxist way of thinking is “if you dont like the world, change it!”. well I cook, naglalaba din ako, nagtatahi, etc. well that is not a way of changing the role of the guy in our society, but a way of showing the “maturity of a guy in our society”. Perfection Exists! but subjective, we are Perfect in others look or standard! We are good sometimes (sometimes kasi minsan hindi good sa paningin ng tao dahil sa actions mo). To be a guy, you have to be “Understandable” (wait! may salita bang understandable?, i doubt antok na ako eh. hahaha) you have to understand everything. sometimes we feel the metaphysical term of “Jelousy”, and i hate that feelings! but now nararamdaman ko ulet, but thanks to my frontal lobe of my brain for controlling what Amygdala functions(awts! may alam din ako sa anatomy no?! haha…) and that becomes me more mature than the other guy. To be a guy, you have to take care of your girl, if none?, then you have to take care of your family? hehe! you have to do things that makes her comfortable, secure, and loved. To be a guy, you have to do things to make a girl love you back.

This case is not about “changing” or “pagrereklamo na mahirap maging lalaki”, its all about expressing your good intentions, to know the Meaning of being a guy. para sa akin, if you like or love a girl take her in a beautiful scenery, like watching the sunset, watch the waves of the seas and how it interchanged until reaching the seashore, or watching the scenery of a greeny mountains (nakakasawa na kasi yung puro mall nalang haha). A common sayings said that “Behind every successful man, there is a great Woman of his life” the girl of his life, yung gusto mo batuhin ng pillow (ramdomly), throw corny jokes just to make her laugh (kahit naiinis na haha), the one na nagtititigan lang kayo then tatawa nalang siya (awts i debunked my philosopher! sorry Charles Sanders Peirce wala ka palang Metaphysics) because emotions travel in Space. awts. haha But aside all of discussions wala pa ako girl, i mean girl of my life.

I’m not that guy who is attractive in a glimpse of an eye (meaning salat sa kapogian) haha who most of the girl wants, im not that guy who has the ability to attract woman immediately… pinapakita ko lang yung real me. I’m the guy na pinapakita sa isang girl kung gaano ko pinangangalagaan even though the girl is busy… I said, you have to understand things. I’m the guy who supports her in all of her decisions, i just want her to feel that i am always here for her despite my absence. I’m the guy who encourage her to fulfill her dreams, because Relationship is not only “Affection” but in a mature sense, its all about “Helping each other to reach your goals in life”. not that guy who acts bigtime but expressing few reasons, I’m the guy who acts in a simple way but expressing it with true and good intentions. And I’m the guy who pray for her everyday before I go to sleep, to guide her, and always safe. i know its not perfect, but as i said perfection is subjective… and im trying to be perfect with you, with the real me. But in some person being in a relationship is a hindrance to their goals… parang nakakasira lamang sa behavior ng isang tao… well in some cases i agree! but that is the nature of being in a relationship… like challenges in life, we face everyday challenges and for making you strong you have to conquer it. For me, maybe I see the term realtionship as a Inspiration, a source of Motivation, and a Will to Power; helping each other to reach your goals in life.

Two songs na gustong gusto ko actually i have different versions sa playlist ko… yung “Just the way you are ni Bruno Mars” at “I wont give up ni Jason Mraz” which reflects on my personality and attitude… Just the way you are because I like or love a girl by being she herself, her Hair, her Eyes, and her Nose. haha I dont like girl who smoke… (kasi hikain ako hehehe). I like girl na malinis tignan like short hair with headband or ponytail style hair haha. malinis kasi tignan. I love you Just the way you are. “I wont give us” because that is me now! even though some circumstances preventing to show this feelings I wont give up! because kung gusto mo ang isang girl you said it like you mean it, not only for the sake of “acheche” (mahirap i-explain eh) haha understand it and wait for it. According to Saint Thomas Aquinas in his concept of “Rationes Seminales” explaining that everything will happen at the right time, God planted a Seed and it will bloom at the right time, anything you will meet in the future is already planted now! a concept of destiny in post modern chuchu times, although my concept of destiny is the way i look the past… parang, kung hindi tayo nagkakilala noon hindi tayo magkasama ngayon… continuous or series of cause and effect of happenings kaya tinawag ko na destiny na magkasama tayo ngayon. back to the discussion, I wont give up because if I like or love the girl you have to fight for it… not in a desperate way, but in the caring way alagaan mo siya, suportahan mo siya, irespeto mo siya. thats the caring way you should do if the time is not align right now. and if you love this girl make her smile everyday.

Meaning of being a guy is very difficult, as i said. you have to balance everything, you have to do some actions, you have to respect the girl. Meaning of being a guy is subjective… you will determine it on how you treat your surroundings and how you act or decide on things you needed most. Meaning of being a guy is not about Pleasures it is how you control things in balance… and go with the flow without changing your perspective. Meaning of being a guy is all about uniqueness of being a guy, like doing craziness things, reading in the stairway, curious in everything weird! haha. but the most important is the Meaning of being a guy is to express your feelings without a doubt, without any conditions, and without any reasons. Love her unconditionally.

Trust me.

P.S. di ko na na-proof read antok na ako eh haha.

Christopher P. Taguinod
June 2, 2014
12:40am